i hate myself...

I don't know if I hate myself for being insensitive of his feelings or for trying so hard to save a frienship...
Yesterday was a disaster. My day started ok (thanks to this ultra cool song). I went to the IAS conference hall to see if everything's ok as regards the seminar workshop. It started kinda late coz some of the junior members have a class till 4:30 and so it left Dawnie, Gee and I gossiping the afternoon away. It was really cool to know who's hooking up with who and who's having a severed relationsip with other peeps... A few minutes beforethe seminar workshop, I went inside the IAS sec to call Assoc Dean Martinez. We were still ok back then til the seminar workshop started. My only fault is that I'm too honest with him. He's my mentor and a very good friend so I tend to tell him everything as long as he's privy ... Moreover, I also like to save his friendship with another person who's also so dear in my heart... I don't know but I'm trying to take his LOA lightly then here he comes trying to analyze every single words that I say. BUMMER BIGTIME!
I guess, there are certain things that I really can't handle...
Things that I shouln't have said in the first place...
Or maybe he's no longer the same old J... hope not

PS.
It's papa and lence's birthday- COOLNESS!