On new relationships

It's been ages since I last posted anything on my blog. New company, new friends and a helluva of great experience (Yo, Jakarta!). The past couple of months were really busy. While going through everything, I was flighty, anxious and snappish. I needed an avenue to unload all my angst without being judged and subjected to rumors. This blog has been my home for how many years now and I know that my home will gladly welcome my dreary soul back. chos!

Lately, I've been hanging out with a lot of debate friends. Admittedly, I can be an exclusivist in terms of dealing with people. I value relationships so much to the point that I only hang out with the same friends since waaaay back. I realized that the world is so big to limit myself. Majority of my friends are no longer here and some who are left behind have questionable place in my hierarchy of relationships, but I digress.

Anyway, I find contentment and happiness when I'm around these people...

Grace's birthday party at Villa Immaculada

After party at Music Bank

at the Philippine Supreme Court

Azrul's Manila visit

Gremlin's house party

Yes, they are the same people who, once upon a time, were involved in verbal tussle against each other. The foundation of the friendship is our passion in the craft that we love best-- DEBATE. They are some of the brightest minds in the Philippine (and Asian) debate community. It's nice to know though that we- or at least some of us- can hang out without mentioning debate. :D We watch movies, do karaoke, dine out, go on house parties, talk about life and do all sorts of landichi. For those reasons and for so much more, the only biological rose among the thorns is extremely thankful.

* photo creds: Grace and Gremlin

10 Reasons to be Happy #4

1. My Seoul-based best buddy is finally here in Manila. Move over stress, time to smell the roses with Luckyboy.
2. Completed 5 days -and counting- of Simbang Gabi. Every single time, we're at least 20 mins early. Naks!
3. Simbang Gabi service. I love the fact that I still have my "female voice" no matter how early it is.
4. Solving mystery games with Shobe. I just love playing detective with her. Hay, one of the things that I will surely miss when hospital eats up majority of her time starting January 1.
5. Tita Miriam's thanksgiving breakfast party. I love breakfast parties! I have found a family in the company of my churchmates. Lord, ito na ba yung "calling"? wag naman sana. hehe
 6. My new (old) favorite game-- Virtual Families and Villagers. I know, I know, too old school. But these games take my mind off facebook.
7. Watching a football match with my country as one of the competing teams. No matter what, I'm proud of you Azkals! I can't wait for Suzuki 2012.
8. Friday night. Recreated Taylor Swift's "I'm only me when I'm with You". FTW! *grin*
9. Sir Gene's birthday party. I love it when a normal birthday party becomes an instant reunion of dear ol' friends. I had so much fun with Joeven, Ate Ans, Ma'am Barro, Ate Raqs, Sir Gene, Sir Joey, Sir Rog, Harold, Lucky, Mike, Bryan, VV, et.al. Ang kulit ni Mike! hahaha. lines that are worth remembering:
           

1. “Bawat isang plato ay nakakasira ng buhay.” (Mike on going back to the buffet spread after receiving praises for his beautifully sculptured body. Naks! Gustung gusto nya yan.)
2.   “You just don’t get that virus if you don’t have an underlying GRAVER disease like AIDS and CANCER (Ma’am Barro’s ‘comforting’ words to Lucky. hahaha)
3. “I-enjoy mo na ‘tong food. Baka last mo ng kain ‘to. (Everyone in relation to former entry.)
4. “I like that! Ang lakas maka-cosmopolitan ng statement mo friend.” (I forgot the context na basta Mike and I were talking and this came up.)
5. “Kumusta na kaya si Maren.” (Harold’s out of the blue question. Yes, he did state that he’s single now and I did say that Maren is frolicking in NYC and that she is ALSO single. hahaha)    

10. Receiving gifts with personalized cards/messages. I love receiving presents in general (pwede naman sigurong maging materialistic minsan?)  but I treasure letters and notes more. It always ups generic gifts to personalized status. =)             

On second life and seeing a new one

Tuesday was THE bomb.

Got a wake up call but instead of the usual "Wake up sleepyhead", it was "I've Had The Time Of My Life". How sweet cool was that?! Anyway, work was ok. I had fun talking to the girls. Went out for lunch with Keenan and we bumped into Wen's former student. And oh, it was also my first time to play the Lottery (Sweet Jesus, please let me win?).

Since mommy Johne gave birth to our godchild yesterday, Wen and I decided to visit her. After a couple of calls in between his horrific meetings, we came up with the most busy-people-friendly schedule.

As always, Traffic was awful but we had so much fun goofing around. We turned his car into a mini club and tried our best to sway with the music. He was crazily trying so hard to sing/dance to Bruno Mars' "Just The Way You Are" while manning the wheel when a girl crossed the road out of nowhere. Muntik na syang nabangga. Kami na ang biglang naging serious so eyes on the road and both hands on the wheel si Wen. hahaha. We talked about our lives instead. How stressful his life in the corporate world is. Love. Relationship. Future plans. In short, nag-emo na naman kami. It was like that for 30 mins or so until "I've Had The Time Of My Life" started playing on the background. Our eyes met and I let out a crazy screech as he increased the volume. We LOVE that song. Baliw-baliwan lang kami talaga. hahaha. And just when we're on the groove of playing Johnny and Baby, a stupid car swerved and almost hit us. Wen was able to hit the brakes before crashing into that stupid car. I swear, nagkapalit sana kami ng mukha ng dashboard kung hindi lang ako naka-seatbelt and Wen did not instinctly served as my human shield. I was touched naman because he protected me first. Ang bait lang. hahaha

So there, we went to super serious mode once again. I don't want us to be casualties of the saying that Bad luck comes in threes.

We weren't able to see Ashton John but I'm mighty glad that mommy Johne had a smooth operation. We were pretty worried because she had a sensitive pregnancy. We might visit AJ when they get home.

They say that a baby is always a blessing since it signifies new beginnings but after our brush of with 2 potential accidents, I can say that new beginnings are not mutually exclusive to having something for the first time or experiencing something grand. Because sometimes, it takes a minor detail to experience a complete turn.

On Letting Go...

"Letting go" is probably the most used and abused concept of emo people. I don't dwell on this too much bilang strong ako because it is just not me. I hate transparency of emotions and I am not very good in answering personal questions. So I guess, I'm really not cut out for the entertainment industry because I would probably suck at Boy Abunda's Tough Ten. (bawal mag-judge. pop culture yan) However, recent events made me analyze such. (promise, lalagyan ko ng konteng puso kasi nga the subject calls for emotional dumping. keri?)
  
Letting go is said to be the hardest thing to do and deconstruct in any kind of relationship. Mikaela even wrote a pathetic song about The Art of Letting Go. A friend of mine practically erased all the songs in her Ipod except for this one and played it every chance she got right after she broke up with her bf. Of course, I wasn't able to understand kasi ako ang nang-iwan at hindi iniwan her but being a good friend, I just let her "cherish" the pain. When she came to her senses, I told her about what I read on the basic stages of letting go. You know-- denial, grief, anger, re-entry, and preparation for a new relationship. She just incredulously looked at me and said "Why do you have to intellectualize everything? Feelings are feelings. You can't switch it on and off nor can you find a step by step guide on how to deal with it on books. OC ka na, manhid ka pa!" I'm sorry? I was just trying to help and buti nga I said something with substance and basis. I was initially planning on telling her "Don't worry, karma's there so just let things be and allow cosmic justice to do its part." I think this is the part when they say that lovers are irrational. Gross.

What I don't understand is the fact that people find it difficult to just move on. While I agree that initial attraction is never a choice, love--just like letting go-- should be a choice. You can't choose who to like because attraction transcends one's cerebrality. However, what you do about that attraction is where free will comes in. You decide whether you want to pursue someone, jump into a relationship, end a relationship or pathetically be enclosed by the memories of the past. (fine, ang harsh lang)

In our lifetime, it is axiomatic that we would eventually be required to make a choice. Hard as it may seem, we know that we have to make one. Maybe because we are fed up of our daily routines or have gotten really, really tired and frustrated of the things that we can’t have, or maybe, just maybe, we miss our comfort zones. Choices, they say, are byproducts of deep perspicacity. We all have our means and methods of arriving into one. Some hibernate and lie dormant; others impose selective jurisdictional detachment while there are some who opt for countless solicitations of advice from friends. The latter is considered as the most common and tolerable in our system. In a culture where relationships and close affinity are valued, we often go to our families and friends in order have an analysis of the situation that we are into hoping against all hopes that they can give a rationalized opinion. But sometimes, we go to our friends willing for an affirmation in the guise of asking for an advice because we know it within ourselves that we already made a decision. This is the reason why no amount of explanation is enough when our friends explicate an option especially if it counters our predisposed choice. In short, joke time lang na gusto mo ng advice kasi ang gusto mong marinig, affirmation.

To be fair, it is really hard to let go, and I am saying this in a completely unromantic way because I believe that romance and letting go are not mutually exclusive. Letting go is stress-depression-stress-depression-cry cry-depression-jiritabels-depression-parati-na-lang-may-depression. So yeah, para syang puso ko-- HARD. I have experienced being left behind countless of times (and I mean, literally). Well, I have always prided myself for having great friends and for someone who really value relationships, I have high expectations. I was never a needy friend that's why no one can fault me for feeling bad when I wanted a friend at a particular moment and no one heeded. After all, I wouldn't be caught dead ringing a friend in the wee hours of the night nor flooding his/her inbox (except in totally isolated cases of drunk texting/calling). That is soo cramping my style. That is why I appreciate friends who keep in touch despite their busy schedules. Those who contact you because they just want to hang out and enjoy your company and not just buzz or give you a text when you are needed. This is the reason why it's very hard on my part to say goodbye to my friends.

I was sad when Lucky left for China but I was more ecstatic for my Olympics stuff his adventure. Besides, he was always in the Philippines and the postcards kept on appearing on my mailbox so kebs. Then he decided to become a conference magnate in SG. No big deal. I get to receive a call for like what, minimum of 3x a week? And then Melvin went to SG, Mark to Seoul, Kevin to SG, Lucky to SG, Maren to the US and Kid and Guddz to SG. Oh man! I hate moments of weakness kasi nga strong ako. But seriously, I just try to put on a brave front when I'm with my friends. I don't want to give them the impression that I am deeply affected whenever they tell me that it's time for them to leave. After all, I don't want to spoil the anticipatory fun. I want them to continue exploring life and what the other side of the fence can offer be it in acads or in  career.

Writing this is really hard. I am an evasive shrimp who hates confronting my emotions. I always choose to be happy regardless of how crappy life is. Again, personal choice. But yeah, sometimes, I should learn to "humanize" feelings. What can I do? I have to perenially drive in yellow because I don't know when the light changes into red, signaling that I finally have to stop being clingy and just learn to let go.

My debate favorites

I've been in the debate community for a long time. A lot of people would probably raise a brow upon knowing this because of the idea that we will only grow up upon leaving our comfort zones. Admittedly, debate has always been my comfort zone. But you see, debaters are strong believers that cultural perception is subjective. People don't just leave the community. There's a saying that debaters don't retire, they only become adjudicators. Right. Just like me, I did not retire (at least not yet), I only became an adjudicator. Well, since I've had my share of fabulousity in debate (pun intended), allow me to take you to a trip down memory lane as I take note of my debate favorites.

NB: these are relatively recent tournaments because I don't have the patience and the time to scan dinosaur pics :). And oh, these are local tournaments only. Might make another blog for international tourneys or tourneys participated by different nationalities.

After Debate Hang out: WAI YING

Wai ying is a chinese restaurant in Benavidez. We would often go there after a physically and mentally exhaustive debate training. Actually, Wai ying is loved by Manila debaters in general. According to Jayson, a debater from San Beda, "Hindi ka debater pag hindi ka pa nakakain sa Wai Ying". I think he's right. Debaters from as far as Katipunan go here to hang out with fellow debaters.

Post-training chill with our CSB-IVs shirt :)

Highschool Debate Tournament: PSDC (Philippine Schools Debate Championship)

PSDC is an annual debate tournament hosted by Ateneo de Manila Debate Society (ADS). I like this tournament because of its balance nature. Debate tournaments are usually toxic and stressful but PSDC always has a fun break night party. I remember the time when I was invited by ADS to become a Deputy Chief Adjuducator (DCA), we had a costume party for break night!

Adj Core in action
(with Dino from DLSU, Miko from ADMU, BJ from UP and Noel from SU)



break night party
(Berna as Sarah Palin, Jess as himself, Keith as Naruto,
Kip as Jason, Moi as Pocahontas, Jayson as a religious servant
and Gian as some random tambay sa kanto)

Announcement of winners at the Championship Dinner

Ma-drama Tournament: National Debate Championship (NDC) hosted by Ateneo de Davao University and National Debate Championship hosted by University of Baguio

Debate is really a rollercoaster ride, emotion-wise. One can celebrate like there's no tomorrow after a good round then the next moment, you can see debaters cry like a baby after a bad round or a terrible adjudication. Drama is everywhere. You can experience drama during debate rounds (this usually happens among institutions) which I consider as "external drama" or "internal drama" which happens after or before debate rounds (within your contingent). FEU is really not a "ma-issue" institution. We take pride on solidarity of its members. Basta in these two tournaments, we experienced internal drama. ;p

Pre-Championship Dinner with Steph and Jess at ADDU

We occupied a lot of rooms for our contingent but true to the
spirit of camaraderie, the kids and joeven
(he was a DCA in this tournament so he was billeted in the hotel suite)
would always gravitate to our room before going to sleep.
The drama happened in this room. hahaha

University-wide Tournament: 1st Nicanor Reyes Debate Classic

This tournament was the brainchild of the ORADEC during Gee's term as the President. It was actually a brilliant idea to expose the students to debate. Debaters are usually tagged as the school "elites", intellectual or otherwise, and this tournament helped in disproving such debate stereotype.

1st NRDC

In-house Training: Tagaytay Highlands

Before participating in a national competition, we would schedule a debate lockdown. This is a common practice of debate organizations. It is basically a debate camp where you debate, matter load and debate over and over again. It can go on for 3 days, 5 days or even longer. Our Bulacan lockdown was pretty memorable but since I don't have the patience to scan the photos, I would make do with one in-house training. This was memorable because we had one-on-one sessions. We also had group critique and bull sessions. I will never forget Gee for saying this "Honestly, hindi ko gusto yung mga bull sessions natin. I only learned one thing: kung paano magtanim ng galit." hahaha. Priceless.

laughing at our bad cases

Finally, we were able to see the sun!

PIDC tournament: 1st PIDC, Tarlac City

Philippine Inter-collegiate Debating Championship (PIDC) is a tournament hosted by the University of the Philippines Debate Society (UPDS). I love this PIDC tournament because I was able to exprience a lot of firsts: 1) This was my first time to become a DCA in a national collegiate debate competition. 2) My first time to be contingent-deprived (Mark was able to go with me and I'm perpetually grateful for that). 3) My first time to really hang out and bond with debaters from different institutions.

The 1st PIDC Adj Core (CSB, UPD, UPM, FEU, ADMU, DLSU and UST)

With debaters and adjudicators from ADMU, San Beda, DLSU and Lyceum
in my hotel room after break night party.

Fashion-friendly Tournament Venue: Baguio

During elimination rounds, debate tournament fashion is basically composed of t-shirts, shorts, jeans, tank tops and havs. Yup. Debaters seldom dress up during rounds because a room with pumped up debaters and a humid weather is a bad combination. You go for your most comfortable clothes during rounds and dress up when your team reaches octos. Baguio is a fashion-friendly tournament venue because you can experiment with your look by layering clothes and putting on accessories without fear of experiencing the oh-so-dyahe jabar while giving a make or break speech.

NDC, University of Baguio

NDC, Philippine Military Academy

Cadet Hop, PMA NDC

There you go, some of my debate favorites :)

Happy birthday, Maren!

I first met Maren in 2004 during the Oratorical and Debate Council (ORADEC) apps week. I couldn’t remember if I was the one who interviewed her but what I do know is that fact that she stood out from the crowd. Beautiful locks while everyone’s sporting a rebonded hair, fabulous tan, fashionable, impeccable grammar and amazing eloquence… I’m cutting myself right there for fear of being accused as a lesbo. hahaha. In short, she’s really cool. So there, she became part of the ORADEC.

She was a good member. She even became the org Prexy.

Spot the fashion designer, flight attendant, professional students abroad
 and Corporate magnate in SG

We had our share of debate tournaments in Manila and out of town. (I still consider Dumaguete as one of the best tournaments ;p)

Circa 2006 ba 'to? hahaha

We also had our in-house trainings. Remember our Tagaytay Highlands lockdown? Epic!

We stayed there for 3 days with nothing to do but debate, matter load,
debate, matterload and feel sorry for ourselves :D

And then, there came a lull in her debate career... (alam mo yan) ;p
Inspite of the lull, she still managed to hold on to her other passion-- FASHION!

hats, hats, hats

She can do wonders with your eyes.
Awesome smokey eyes, hun :D

 She even dabbled in the fashion industry as a make-up artist and a ramp model.
(Sorry friend, natatawa pa din ako pag iniisip ko na kinaya ng height mo ang ramp.
IKAW NA talaga. hahaha)

 ...once in a while, we would go out and catch up on each other's lives...

Remember Dr. F's birthday, ORADEC Christmas Parties and Mike's concert?
(hindi ko ma-resist i-post ang kaisa-isang picture na hindi ka wala kang tan! haha)

... but I think, one coffee session with Brian opened everything up. Then we had our sesh with Dawnie, Rix and Gee. Watched Kid in his gig. Met Guddz and Rach. And, as what they say, the rest is history.

Our love affair with Technowave and the occasional gig at Il Ponticello

And oh, how we love football! :)

Until you decided to pursue further studies in an unfamilir territory. Your despedida had an unwritten rule. NO CRYING. Guess who broke the rule first?

 

:(

 Oh well... we all need to spread our wings and see what life can offer at the other side of the fence. But I just want to remind you that before you became a...

...Poi enthusiast and...

... the girl with a complicated lovelife...

You were once a simple girl with a simple life.

Yes, you are a fashionista but you really are simple to the bones.

Oh, corny ka din pala! Remember this?

Making this as your profile pic and updating your status to appear like this:
MAREN ELIZABETH MARTINEZ IS A FAN.
i mean, what were you thinking?! ampotah! hahaha

What I wish on your birthday, is to see you laugh like this once again...

carefree. childlike.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Maren! You will always be one of my very few girl friends (knowing how testosterone-filled my friendship life is).

(photo creds: maren's albums and oradec files :))