a gloomy day in my equally gloomy life

from my february 5, 2005 entry

It's 7 in the evening. i just had a torture afternoon (transpo exam and credit recit- as usaual i got called).

Last night was the worst night in my entire life...it's over.For the past 19 months, i was an epitome of a martyr woman(or so it seem). You gave me my saddest birthday and a lot of sleepless nights, remember? But last night was different. I wasn't the same patient and caring person. I was really mean and heartless. I was beyond caring... Hearing those words really blew my senses. I can't imagine somebody telling me that i'm stupid and that i'll never become a good lawyer (hell, i'll prove you wrong!). I thought i was mean, but you were meaner. I endured so much. I sacrificed some of my personal time and my relationship with friends that were there for me long before you entered into my life. I don't wanna sound so sassy but for somebody who stood beside you, that was the harshest thing to do/say.

Reading your txt this morning was like reading a note from hell. I can't put my act together, i know i can never be the same girl that everybody loved.

There are a lot of things swirling in my head... how am i going to act as if im ok? how can i make other people happy the way i used to do when deep down i know that im hurting? Good thing i have my friends... grace and lence were always there for me. Like what we always talk about-it's your damn loss not mine:) oh well, life sucks... but this time, life sucks BIGTIME!

ok, tama na emote gotta meet a friend (miss ko na 'to e, tagal na naming di lumalabas...BONDING!)